Sometimes I find myself in a position where I'm giving myself invisible tallies and rewards for the things that I think make me a better Christian, a better person....went to church (check), read my Bible chronologically (check) kept control of my mouth and didn't curse (check) I'm perfect today, right?
I heard a sermon by Judah Smith once where he talked about the rhythm of Jesus of Jesus and the importance of staying in step with him. Anytime I'm feeling overwhelmed by recent mistakes or the state of my life, I remember this scripture.
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly." - Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)
It's exhausting. Striving to be something that you already are. I think what happens to us sometimes is we are desperately trying to add eggs or flour to a cake that is already finished. We are trying to add our own wisdom and perspective to things that already have been finished.
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. 11 In him, you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self-ruled by the flesh was put off when you were circumcised by Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. - Colossians 2:9-12
You have been brought to fullness, just walk in it. Your dreams have been brought to fullness, just walk into them. Stop forcing it, walk with Christ, incorporate him into everything that you do, even the little things. Matthew says to LEARN the unforced rhythms of grace. This life is a learning process where you don't always have to have everything figured out.
But I know I'm just talking to myself...