Can I keep it real for a moment? Can I really put myself out there and be transparent on the World Wide Web? I should be dead. Sleeping in my grave. When I was dead in my trespasses, Christ made me alive and now lives in me. It's still a concept I have to remind myself of often. If we ever get a chance to meet, ask me about the life I used to live and a number of times I lived through something that should have killed me. Ask me about the number of times I thought about taking my own life. This among other reasons is why I lift my hands to the Father in worship. I have a sheepskin rug in my room named Sheila, and while Sheila started out as a Costco steal, she quickly became a place where I and some of my closest friends fell on our faces before the Lord in prayer and in worship. Years later, she's stained with tears of joy and casting cares, covered in the heavy whispers that led to deeper freedom in my life.
I mentioned in a previous post how much I love to worship. Tell me if I'm weird, but I love songs that bring me to tears or that bring me to my knees. I love songs in which the presence of the Lord manifests as soon as the melody drops and all I can do is lay my hand upon my heart because I can feel Him within me. For the past three or four years, I've listened to worship/gospel music almost exclusively. I listen to other music occassionally but I find my perspective to remain elevated when I am in a constant state of worship, I've come to love having a worship song stuck in my head. It's like lazy meditation lol. Many mornings I wake up with a certain song on my heart and then I'll play it and it just feels so right. I previously mentioned there were certain lines in songs that "I always have that one line in the song where I just want to yell with joy, where I can identify with that line so intensely that I feel it in the pit of my stomach. That one truth of my Savior, or that line I meditated on during a difficult season." A few of you requested that I share more of certain song lines that speak to me, so here you go :)
Steffany is my worship soul sister, there's not a song that she sings that I don't love. Honestly, every line of this song penetrates my soul in the deepest of places. It's written from the perspective of God, speaking to you. The line that brought me to tears the first time I heard it is, "And oh as you run, what hindered love will only become part of the story.'
Christ the Redeemer, I love this line because it's a reminder of how even my darkest secrets have been redeemed, even the things that I am most ashamed of will be used for the Glory of God. What used to hinder God's love and freedom in my life has just become a part of my testimony.
While we are on the subject of Steffany Gretzinger, I love the upbeat, musical composition of this song but the spontaneous part is my favorite. "When nothing's right and it all falls apart You're good, when everything's going right You're still good, You're so good. So we will prophesy this morning into every situation, that you have never changed and you never will....It's not in your nature, to fall apart of fail, it's not in your nature to let us down and you never will, it's not in your nature to fail us or fall a part or end up in pieces, you're never going to let us down, somebody needs confidence this morning that He'll never let you down, He's been good a long time, He's knows what He's doing in you, when you can't see it, when you don't believe it, He knows and He doesn't fall off his throne! He is coming to overwhelm the things that overwhelm you this morning!"
Wow, it gets me every time, I am transported to my senior year of college, overwhelmed by the season I was walking out of, unable to see how God's promises were going to come to pass in my life. I had a $16,000 balance that was standing between me and graduation and no idea how it was going to get paid. BUT GOD. He doesn't fall off of His throne. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would SCREAM that He was overwhelming every aspect of my situation that was bringing me unrest or anxiety. I listened to this every day, sang it out until I believed it. Also, my balance was paid in full, but that's another blog post.
"Oh yeah, Jesus loves you, Jesus wants you, You can call Him, He will answer. Call Him in the morning, call Him in the evening"
My mother always used to tell me, that when I felt like I couldn't go on with my life, if I ever got so low that I didn't feel as if I could call her or anyone else, to call on Jesus. That's what I did, and here I am. I simply said His name, I asked Him to help me and He did. I remember one night after my breakup, I was in so much pain that it physically hurt, I whispered His name over and over again until His peace rocked me to sleep. I've hand many nights like that, and calling on Jesus works every time.
When you sing out to the Lord and ask Him to fill your cup to the point that it overflows, He honors that and does so. You know when your cup is full, when your heart is overflowing with His goodness and love. You also know when you're empty, when you're running on snacks. A worship song here, a quick bible verse there. But when you are full with the love of God, it truly does run over into every area of your life. It's such a good feeling, there is nothing like it. You know when you wake up thirsty from a long nap in the middle of the day and you are hot and sweaty and groggy and then you traipse to the kitchen and inhale a huge, cold glass of water? Being full of God's love is a million times better than that.
I just realized that I could probably write about fifty blog posts with different lines in various songs that bring my joy. Perhaps I'll make this a reoccurring thing. Let me know what lines in worship songs speak to your soul!